A few days ago I had a full-on shitty day. I’m going to say it as it is, it was shitty. We had our first supervision exercise that day as part of the coach training and I was absolutely not satisfied with my performance. I got a lot of comments and work points, because it just wasn’t good enough. Period.
There you are, completely out of control. What went through my mind went from “I’m not good enough, I’m never going to be able to do this”, to the imposter syndrome that came to say another day, to being downright sad because I would have liked to have done it right. Some perfectionism and craving appreciation and approval is not strange to me either. “This is called being human”, they say. I didn’t want to hear it at that time and was having my shitty-feelings.
Until the moment I could let it go and was ready to receive the feedback as it was given: with the goal of making me the best coach I can be, with all the love in the world. Because of course I am good enough, of course I am already so much further than a year ago. And at the same time, there is still so much room for improvement and growth. Lifelong learning, or something.
After a coaching session earlier today, I realized why I had just gone so off the rails this week and received all that constructive criticism. I had put all the work points and feedback into practice and that’s when magic truly happened. The coachee went through a huge evolution, she literally grew before my eyes. It was impressive to see, to say the least. was/am incredibly proud of her.
Only afterwards did I realize what had happened. Not only she but also I made huge growth leaps during that session and I am very grateful to her, my coaches and myself for that. Everything happens for a reason? Perhaps it does.
Love,
M.
